As a Da’iya « Peacespective

Formality between men and women

The proper etiquette of interaction between men and women in Islam is spelled out clearly and is based on the best interest of the individual and the family and on their peace of heart, mind and soul. One reading Quran is sobered by the seriousness with which this subject is treated. One studying hadeeth receives a confirmation and elaboration upon the message in Quran; and one reading seerah cannot help but see how this was implemented in a balanced manner that neither secluded women from participating actively in society, nor allowed for free interaction to become a source of distraction, dissatisfaction and distance from one’s Lord. Today, more than ever before there is a need to remember and understand Islam’s position on this very delicate matter. There was a time when mere tradition and custom worldwide guarded in various degrees the mental, emotional and spiritual health of people by drawing limits and setting rules. Today, most of these rules have disappeared and where they exist they are questioned. There was a time when the unhappy results of unregulated interaction mostly affected Muslims who didn’t practice Islam; today however, the woes of crossing the boundaries of Islamic manners are common amongst the most religious and pious of Muslims. There was a time when non-Muslims deemed our views on the subject as sexist, dirty-minded and backward, now some of the soundest and most ‘Islamic’ opinions come from non-Muslims who have witnessed the folly of unregulated ‘free’ interaction. It is time we treated this subject with the seriousness it deserves, drawing on Quran and sunna in an objective, intelligent and God-fearing manner.

To teach: understand… experience… respect

Umrah’s Life Lessons #8: To teach: understand…experience…respect I do not regard myself as one living a pampered life. Yet my age is an advantage. With grown daughters I can always count on someone to help out at home, and with grown sons, there is someone to fall back on for an errand I simply can’t face. At work, there are people whose job it is to carry out my orders, and my trusted car of eleven years still burns the road to get me quickly to where I want to go. Still, it’s not like my life is devoid of difficulties, but it was the combination of so many hardships this umrah that overwhelmed me and made me think. It occurred to me as I walked on the same ground, under the same sky, feeling the same heat as the sahaba that I was also going through some of the same adversity they did, as well. One imagines, as one reads the seerah that she has understood the alienation and persecution that the sahaba underwent to hold onto their belief and to deliver the message to oncoming generations. The truth is, not only do we not fully appreciate their suffering, we have ceased to comprehend the physical limitations of a human body in terms of ability and in terms of endurance of pain.

Loyalty and Commitment in the Life of Sayyidah Khadeejah:

on raising sons and daughters for marriages of peace Sometimes when we complain of the way men view us and treat us, we forget that after all they were raised by us. I am not denying the effect of their masculine nature and that of society; I am merely drawing attention to the fact that we are a strong influence in the lives of future husbands – and wives. It is easier to think of our children in terms of their future careers and to prepare them for that than it is to think of their future roles in marriage. Yet a successful marriage is more important in my opinion than a successful career. A family is the building block of society and if its members are fulfilled and balanced that spills over into success in all aspects of society more so than a particular career.