As a Wife « Peacespective

Formality between men and women

The proper etiquette of interaction between men and women in Islam is spelled out clearly and is based on the best interest of the individual and the family and on their peace of heart, mind and soul. One reading Quran is sobered by the seriousness with which this subject is treated. One studying hadeeth receives a confirmation and elaboration upon the message in Quran; and one reading seerah cannot help but see how this was implemented in a balanced manner that neither secluded women from participating actively in society, nor allowed for free interaction to become a source of distraction, dissatisfaction and distance from one’s Lord. Today, more than ever before there is a need to remember and understand Islam’s position on this very delicate matter. There was a time when mere tradition and custom worldwide guarded in various degrees the mental, emotional and spiritual health of people by drawing limits and setting rules. Today, most of these rules have disappeared and where they exist they are questioned. There was a time when the unhappy results of unregulated interaction mostly affected Muslims who didn’t practice Islam; today however, the woes of crossing the boundaries of Islamic manners are common amongst the most religious and pious of Muslims. There was a time when non-Muslims deemed our views on the subject as sexist, dirty-minded and backward, now some of the soundest and most ‘Islamic’ opinions come from non-Muslims who have witnessed the folly of unregulated ‘free’ interaction. It is time we treated this subject with the seriousness it deserves, drawing on Quran and sunna in an objective, intelligent and God-fearing manner.

Our Homes in Ramadan: abodes of peace

Laylatul Qadr. This night hidden in Ramadan, or in the last ten days of Ramadan is a night that tantalizes the heart of every Muslim. Its obscurity reminds us of the “hidden” hour of answered prayer on Friday and the hidden Great Name of Allah amongst His names. It is as though Allah wants us to put forth effort to seek out such special hours or times or Names by doing much, rather than just do good deeds on a pinpointed date. And its description as equaling a thousand nights or eighty three years makes it deserving of one’s full endeavor.

Concept of Sadaqa

Prophetic Principles of Islamic Interaction Lesson Two: The Concept of Sadaqa The process of Islamicizing our perceptions is vital for us to act properly and in accordance with our deen. It is known that the Islamic view of giving is wide and all inclusive. Every gift you have been blessed with you must spend of or use for the benefit of others: your health, your time, your wealth, your talents, your status, etc…

Real life is raw, sans glamor… but naturally sweet

Umrah’s Life Lessons #6: Real life is raw, sans glamor… but naturally sweet Five years ago I went on a luxury haj. We could pray in the hotel, see the Kaba and have it count as jama’a with the Haram. We could make wudu after the athan and still make it to a decent place in view of the Kaba. We had air-conditioned, carpeted tents in Arafat and food fit for a king. We had buses zooming to Mina and back at times that would count for two days, in one trip. Every day we had our choice from an amazing buffet for breakfast and dinner. Every evening we were invited to pray tahajud and listen to a lesson on the roof of the Haram, and our tawaf was video-taped for us to remember. My first haj, we were abandoned or ripped off by a non-existent group. We (my husband and my 24 year-old self) performed haj with my fiqh book in hand. We knew no one and had no help. In Muzdalifah we slept in a sleeping bag on the shoulder of the road and we walked to Mina because we had no ride. We were so consumed by trying to correctly perform the rites that every once in a while we would feel dizzy, stop and count how many days it had been since we had last eaten, and find out that invariably it was three. Three days on Zamzam and soft drinks, so we would buy some cheese and bread. After haj we visited my sister-in-law who was on haj from a different country and with a group. She took me with her to buy a roasted chicken, I was shocked. You mean they have food in Mecca? My childhood memories were of my aunts frying meat and preserving it in shortening and buying dried fruit and vegetables to take to the land that had no food. But, that first haj… transformed my life.

Loyalty and Commitment in the Life of Sayyidah Khadeejah:

on raising sons and daughters for marriages of peace Sometimes when we complain of the way men view us and treat us, we forget that after all they were raised by us. I am not denying the effect of their masculine nature and that of society; I am merely drawing attention to the fact that we are a strong influence in the lives of future husbands – and wives. It is easier to think of our children in terms of their future careers and to prepare them for that than it is to think of their future roles in marriage. Yet a successful marriage is more important in my opinion than a successful career. A family is the building block of society and if its members are fulfilled and balanced that spills over into success in all aspects of society more so than a particular career.

On patience and peace in the life of Sayyidah Khadeejah

“Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home.” Much happens in life that is sad and unfair. Both personal and public tragedies are an integral part of life. Nevertheless, we know that all that happens in a lifetime is but an episode of a to-be-continued story. That how we react to destiny is a matter of choice. When a baby with a severe chromosomal abnormality is the first-born to a religious young couple, when a cruel disease sidesteps the comatose elderly patient and seizes the young mother, when the bliss of a family is twisted into misery by what seems to have been a needless, careless act, when natural disaster or monstrous deeds reap lives in incomprehensible numbers, it may shock and shake us – but it should not leave us bewildered –for such is the stuff of life.

Asma’ Bint Abu Bakr: A Woman of Peace

Assalamu alaykum and Happy New Year! Today is the first day of Muharam – a month of peace. How significant that the year would start and end with months of peace. Peace is not the absence of war or fighting, it is not a vacuum; rather it is an active choice one makes in the face of a difficult situation or one that has potential for needless conflict. Islam differentiates between conflict that occurs when one is standing up for the principles of virtue or in support of someone weak, and conflict that occurs when one is adamant about a personal opinion or in defense of her ego. Hence, it is interesting to ponder upon Asma’ (may Allah be pleased with her) and her active pursuit of peace.

Hajar: A Woman at Peace

Assalamu alaykum and Eid Mubarak! May Allah accept your good deeds and bring the hujaj back home safely with their sins forgiven and their haj accepted. Ameen. W ith peacespective.org being about women and about peace, and it being the season of haj, I thought it would be appropriate to begin with highlighting two incidents in the life of Hajar; the wife of Prophet Ibraheem (AS) and mother of Prophet Ismaeel (AS). A peaceful heart is vital to one’s relationship to God. Conflict hinders one’s ability to accomplish. Conflict can be caused by having things go contrary to one’s wishes. If this is something that has already happened, it can result in sadness, and if it is something to come it can result in fear. For Hajar,