As a Mother « Peacespective

Our Homes in Ramadan: abodes of peace

Laylatul Qadr. This night hidden in Ramadan, or in the last ten days of Ramadan is a night that tantalizes the heart of every Muslim. Its obscurity reminds us of the “hidden” hour of answered prayer on Friday and the hidden Great Name of Allah amongst His names. It is as though Allah wants us to put forth effort to seek out such special hours or times or Names by doing much, rather than just do good deeds on a pinpointed date. And its description as equaling a thousand nights or eighty three years makes it deserving of one’s full endeavor.

Concept of Sadaqa

Prophetic Principles of Islamic Interaction Lesson Two: The Concept of Sadaqa The process of Islamicizing our perceptions is vital for us to act properly and in accordance with our deen. It is known that the Islamic view of giving is wide and all inclusive. Every gift you have been blessed with you must spend of or use for the benefit of others: your health, your time, your wealth, your talents, your status, etc…

Fatima: weaning and the concept of restraint

Prophetic Principles of Islamic Interaction Lesson One — Fatima: weaning and the concept of restraint The wealth of barakah in the Messenger of Allah’s life cannot be encompassed. Every word, every move, every look is a cascade of never ending benefit and guidance. In few words and plain actions, he modeled for us the upright way to live by striving to be kind to others and to please our Lord. His words had that amazing ability to be comprehended by a child yet inimitable by a genius: the gift of saying much in few words. Simply put he attributes this ability to his Lord and describes it saying, أوتيت جوامع الكلم

The Ummah’s Prescription: moving a step beyond mundane motherhood

Umrah’s Life Lessons #9: The Ummah’s Prescription: moving a step beyond mundane motherhood Muslim women amazed me on this trip. I was impressed by their eye for beauty. The head covers they wore for instance mesmerized me. The fabric, chosen with such care and love: swiss dot sparkles, flower print, eyelet, pure silk and airy open-weave cotton. The hours of embroidery apparent in the tiny blue flowers spreading from the hem in every direction, in the intricate lace-work of gold and brown sequins and beads, in the red rose sprigs and pink blossom sprays unfurling from the top down. And the colors… reflecting the wearer’s personality, or the trip they were planned for in the loveliest manner: snowy white, minty green, summer blue and pale corn-silk yellow, light lavender and lilac leaves, and deep swirls of bold African batik. Their crisply starched and ironed appearance, the ruffles, the lace and the tailored or crocheted trim, were details that only one who had a deep appreciation for beauty would take the trouble to have.

Burning passion required to accomplish…anything worth accomplishing

Umrah’s Life Lessons #7: Burning passion required to accomplish…anything worth accomplishing I have always been the expert in child-rearing in the family, but in matters of prayer and Quran, my husband surpasses me by far. While I think of creative ways to enforce prayer, he would be calling them to stand with him and giving them attention and demonstrative love after each prayer; while I tried to write up the best memorization schedule, his daily sessions with them after every fajr had gotten them hooked. Every so often he plans a spiritual experience “to improve the prayer of so-and-so” or “encourage so-and so to memorize more”. I respect and admire this in him, so when he announced that the main reason he was thinking of Umrah was to get Fatimah working on her sunna prayers and to increase her focus in prayer in general, I couldn’t object. But, I was ill-prepared. There was so much going on in my life. What with my daily worry about each member of my family, the deadline for a project I am part of a team for, the girls I was seeing daily for taraweeh, I couldn’t feel excited. But then, there was very little chance that it would come to be. Ramadan had begun, we had no reservations, my mother-in-law who is extremely attached to my husband was very sick, and my husband was surprised with a sudden trip he had to go on.

Real life is raw, sans glamor… but naturally sweet

Umrah’s Life Lessons #6: Real life is raw, sans glamor… but naturally sweet Five years ago I went on a luxury haj. We could pray in the hotel, see the Kaba and have it count as jama’a with the Haram. We could make wudu after the athan and still make it to a decent place in view of the Kaba. We had air-conditioned, carpeted tents in Arafat and food fit for a king. We had buses zooming to Mina and back at times that would count for two days, in one trip. Every day we had our choice from an amazing buffet for breakfast and dinner. Every evening we were invited to pray tahajud and listen to a lesson on the roof of the Haram, and our tawaf was video-taped for us to remember. My first haj, we were abandoned or ripped off by a non-existent group. We (my husband and my 24 year-old self) performed haj with my fiqh book in hand. We knew no one and had no help. In Muzdalifah we slept in a sleeping bag on the shoulder of the road and we walked to Mina because we had no ride. We were so consumed by trying to correctly perform the rites that every once in a while we would feel dizzy, stop and count how many days it had been since we had last eaten, and find out that invariably it was three. Three days on Zamzam and soft drinks, so we would buy some cheese and bread. After haj we visited my sister-in-law who was on haj from a different country and with a group. She took me with her to buy a roasted chicken, I was shocked. You mean they have food in Mecca? My childhood memories were of my aunts frying meat and preserving it in shortening and buying dried fruit and vegetables to take to the land that had no food. But, that first haj… transformed my life.

On Three of the Components of Happiness…and making anyplace ‘home’

Umrah’s Life Lessons #4: On Three of the Components of Happiness…and making anyplace ‘home’ The day we performed Umrah was a long day. It started in Medina, walking, walking, walking to visit the Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him, walking back to the hotel elated, packing and taking the trip to Abyar Ali to do Ihram for our Umrah; then the long trip to Mecca. In Mecca too, another two hours of driving during and after Maghrib to reach our hotel, on account of getting lost and traffic, and then the walk to the Haram. By the time we had finished seven times of tawaf and seven times of sa’ee, we were exhausted. The walk back to the hotel must have been the hardest thing I had to do on the whole trip. My feet felt like two stumps of throbbing agony engulfing me in excruciating pain, what with the fact we had not eaten yet and I probably had low blood sugar, it was understandable that visions of foot amputations danced in my head. So was it any wonder that my face did not show any happiness on the long walk back? But that was commented on, too.

Loyalty and Commitment in the Life of Sayyidah Khadeejah:

on raising sons and daughters for marriages of peace Sometimes when we complain of the way men view us and treat us, we forget that after all they were raised by us. I am not denying the effect of their masculine nature and that of society; I am merely drawing attention to the fact that we are a strong influence in the lives of future husbands – and wives. It is easier to think of our children in terms of their future careers and to prepare them for that than it is to think of their future roles in marriage. Yet a successful marriage is more important in my opinion than a successful career. A family is the building block of society and if its members are fulfilled and balanced that spills over into success in all aspects of society more so than a particular career.

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